Though You Slay Me

       Day 1 of Discovery Week, and I'm already absolutely in awe at  how little I know.

How little I know of what God is truly doing in unreached places where the name of Jesus has never yet been spoken.

How little I know of what it means to carry my cross and follow.

Chapel tonight was themed around the concept of pain and suffering.

The speaker was a missionary whose story of his family's first term working in the field was inspiring and tragic and beautiful and terrifying all at once.  My meager 'sufferings' pale in comparison to the tremendous tragedies and challenges he has endured.  He spoke from Ephesians 3 and Romans 6 and Acts 14, and tied his points together very powerfully around the truth that trials and tribulations bring forth a unique opportunity to bring glory to God as he makes beautiful things out of the dust.

Enduring for the sake of Christ, he said, is completely worth it.

The worst moment of suffering/pain in the history of mankind was doubtlessly on the day when a perfect God/perfect man was brutally (and VOLUNTARILY) sacrificed on our behalf, as he experienced the abandonment of his closest companions and the rejection by his Father in heaven, and as all signs pointed to utter misery and utter failure. And yet, the story didn't end there- the resurrection was just a few days later, and along with that promise of new life came the indescribably beautiful access to grace through faith by all who would choose to follow Him!  The WORST suffering brought about the GREATEST and most beautiful truth known to mankind. So, of course that same God who brought beautiful things out of the greatest tragedy of history is more than capable of bringing beauty out of whatever heartache I could possibly endure. 

Why does my heart so often grow numb to this truth?

Is it because I've heard it so many times?

Is it because it's scary as heck?

Or is it because it's so easy for me to place my physical/emotional comforts above acknowledging my desperate need for Jesus' grace?

After all, comfort is my "default setting".

It's human nature, right? We pursue the 'lesser things' of life to mask the reality of suffering in some form or another; most times it isn't even necessarily blatantly sinful- it could be as simple as just spending ourselves in pursuit of the trivial. Turning off our minds, running to netflix marathons, food,  video games, etc. etc.

After several conversations with my fellow interns, and a whole lot of time in prayer, God is so obviously calling us to a deeper understanding of what it means to 'pick up our crosses' and endure, regardless of the struggles and the pain we WILL face in the future.

We promised Him our hearts.

We promised Him our lives.

Will we keep our promises? 

Will we serve him even when he allows us to suffer for the sake of His name?

Is He worth it?

Absolutely, yes.

It's the most terrifying promise we could make.

But He makes us brave. His perfect love will cast out all fear.

(This song below has been in my head constantly today as I've heard so many stories from so many faithful men and women of faith who have endured more pain than I can imagine for the sake of the gospel, and yet they continue to love and continue to serve. This song is their song.)