Update/Prayer Needs

Where to begin?

These past few days have been SO full, and seem like some of the fastest days ever and the slowest days ever all at once!

It's impossible to document everything, but here are a few highlights from the last few days.

-Language lessons at UTD

            Very difficult at times to stay focused and stay motivated, but I love the format of the lessons;   it's highly individualized and very interactive! I'm learning a ton! My language tutor is one of the sweetest, most patient people ever- she's been working hard to help me learn quickly, and it's a lot of fun to spend time with her.

-Research projects/Songbook compilation

             It's been really exciting to be able to be a part of a team conducting research on minority people/language groups, and working on translating and compiling a songbook to use in Asia! (And, possibly even distribute to new groups of believers there!) 

-Rest morning!!!

             Got to SLEEP IN this past Thursday morning, finally caught up on laundry (yay for hygiene!), then I went to the park with a few of the interns! Walking by the lake, feeding ducks, kicking around a soccer ball, giving our brains a few hours rest before jumping back into language lessons :)

-Prayer Walk

             Went as a team to pray as we walked around a refugee community, typically known for it's criminal activity and poverty, but we couldn't help but see another side of this place as we walked and prayed! There was so much LIFE and openness there; even though we only found one small church in the entire community, it was so encouraging to see the ways God is using that one small church to shine a light into the dense spiritual darkness that exists in the area.  Please pray for encouragement for the pastor of that church, who we spent some time talking to and praying with- he needs to find new leaders to raise up and minister to the community! Please pray that God will meet that need. We also met and prayed with a man from Burma whose brother is missing; please pray for him and his family!  

-Fellowship @ UTD

             I've been so blessed by the warm welcomes I've received these past few weeks, and the UTD student fellowship definitely is one of them! Kind new friends, amazing food, solid conversations about Jesus, and a bible study (which I barely understood because of my lack of language comprehension, but that's OK because I'm learninggg! :).

THANK YOU all for your prayers!

Knowing that I'm being prayed for is one of the brightest spots of encouragement in my life right now!

Discouragement has happened. 

Distraction has definitely happened.

I am very acutely aware of my insufficiencies.

But the truth is that God is using even my roughest moments to glorify himself.

(even when I'm not quite sure HOW He's gonna pull that off, He always does.)

In learning more about how to be honest about my weaknesses, I find myself gradually able to understand a little more of what Paul meant in 2 Corinthians 12: 9-10;

"But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

I know that it's ok to not be ok sometimes,

I just don't always act as though I believe that!

Vulnerability is incredibly difficult, but incredibly necessary to a healthy spiritual life.

I definitely don't intend to mope around proclaiming my insufficiencies to the world, but I DO intend to allow God to be more glorified in my life through making it clear that there is no way I will accomplish anything of eternal value without Him. 

This reality goes against all of my natural worldly desires to be performance-driven/self-sufficient!

I want to be seen.

Recognized.

Loved.

All of those desires are misplaced unless they are directed towards Jesus;

He sees me, recognizes my identity in Him, and loves me in my most difficult moments.

But all other worldly recognition/appreciation is a meaningless pursuit, because

I'm not the main character of my story.

After all, it's not even 'my story'.

It's His story.

And He has decided to use my life, a fleeting moment against the backdrop of eternity, filled with weakness and insufficiencies, as some small part of His bigger plan.

I don't want anyone to look back at my time on this internship and marvel at 'how much faith I had',

Because there are times when I deeply struggle with faith.

I don't want anyone to see the things I'm doing and respond by praising my hard work,

Because my efforts are never enough; Jesus is the only reason for any successes along the way.

As much as I crave affirmation and attention,  

I know that these things are meaningless unless God is glorified through the reality of my weaknesses.

He must become greater, I must become less.

Prayer needs:

-One of my fellow interns has been battling sickness, please pray for quick healing for her!

-Please pray for God to work out some logistics concerns regarding plane tickets in-country once we get overseas! This would be a huge benefit to be able to purchase affordable plane tickets and avoid  time-consuming bus trips.

-Please pray for diligence and endurance as we continue our language-lessons! It's easy to get discouraged and frustrated, so please pray that we keep Jesus at the center of our focus so that our motivation/strength comes from the right place.

-I'm dealing with a recurring sore throat, doesn't seem like a big deal at the moment, but the last time it felt like this it lasted for quite awhile, and I need to feel better quickly so I can lead worship and speak without making it worse.